Second marriages often bring unexpected opportunities for new beginnings. They can also bring baggage and unrealistic expectations. I have represented dozens of couples in second or subsequent marriages. I’m also pretty sure I saw every episode of The Brady Bunch at least twice. Everything worked out for the Bradys. But reality is sometimes hard. I don’t remember Carol refusing to share a bank account with Mike because her first husband bounced checks, or Mike comparing Carol’s meatloaf to those of his predeceased wife. They also didn’t talk about estate planning.
In first marriages, both spouses usually want to take care of the surviving spouse and leave whatever is left to their children. The nuances of that plan vary, but the overall goal is a common one. Second marriages, however, are different, especially when one or both spouses have children from a prior marriage. More than likely, the estate planning methods relied upon in the first marriage will not work for a second marriage. Leaving everything to each other, and then to all of the children equally can have the effect of disinheriting your children. Sometimes that is accidental. Often it is on purpose. Whoever dies first loses.
According to Carol, there were no stepchildren in the Brady family. That sounds good. But there was also no Vietnam War, oil crisis or Watergate in their world. The Bradys were made-up people in a fantasy world. We have to deal with life as it is, rather than how we would like it to be.
If each spouse has considerable assets, it may be wise to keep the assets and estate planning separate. It is possible to provide for one spouse until death or remarriage, then have the remaining assets distributed to the children of the other spouse. It’s just not simple. Couples in second marriages should also consider including planning for disability and long-term care. If one spouse becomes ill and government assistance is needed to pay for long-term care, the combined assets of the couple will be considered “available assets” to pay for the care of the ill spouse. Long-term care insurance may be needed to protect the children of the healthy spouse.
Estate planning is important for everyone. But the risks of not having an estate plan or having a bad one are much higher for couples in second marriages.